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Alright bitches, here's what's been up since we last had a lil chataroonie. So old girlfriend is gone. Old job gone. Old me is gone.

Now comes a new era of.. AWESOMEFUCKINGSAUCE!!!!!!

*ahem* As I was saying, things just didn't work out with my old girlfriend and now I'm with a new girl, who just so happens to be goddamn amazing. She was there, waiting for me all along for years, I just never realized it. I love her so fucking much, she's inspired me to start... just... living again. <33333 GhoulySayu <33333

As far as everything else goes, meh. I got laid off, which sucks, but the time off is nice

I'm sloooooooowly working on art. But I'm not making any promises of more art, cuz I always lie, lol.

<333333333

Well, here I am posting.. basically nothing as usual. Still at the same job, still can't get inspired musically. But at least my new Wacom Bamboo Fun Tablet I got from my mom for Christmas is helping me on the art front. It takes some getting used to, but once you do, it's amazing and so much fun. So hopefully, It'll help take care of this ridiculously long dry spell of new art.

Love and I am,
M3rcury Morbid

So in case anyone was wondering what's going on in my life (as if anyone really reads these), I figured I'd write some shit. I'm feeling... mentally painful, though I'm not really sure what that means.

Money is a demon which haunts us from wake to sleep, everyday. Everything is about money and it sucks; no matter what we never have enough for all the bills, problems, food and everything else.
So I just became certified to be a shift manager today at my job, so that's a bit of an accomplishment, I suppose, but I feel like I'm becoming something that I never wanted to be, you know? Becoming the thing I always hated; Trapped in a hole, going up, but into what? A ceiling of rusting spikes, is this where I want to go? Nevertheless, here I am, but I want to do something that matters, something that makes people feel some way, that makes me feel accomplished, worthwhile and that I'm doing something, not stuck in this neverending black hole cycle dream.

Other things. I've been very frustrated as of late because I can't seem to complete anything musically that I feel is a finished product, I feel inspired but that I just can't seem to get it to come out the way my ears would like it. I need to create some music, but I'm becoming more and more pained to try to write something worthwhile, it seems so futile and pointless. Maybe I'm just starting to realize that I'm never going anywhere as a musician and it's very distressing realization as that is one of my greatest interests in life.


Aside from all these things, I'm fairly happy. I have a wonderful fiancee, Christina and we're very happy together and to this day I continue to love her more every single day (fuck you all). I have a painfully cute little shih-tzu puppy named Peanut, who never ceases to make me smile even when I have a terrible day (which is pretty much everyday). We have a nice home with all kinds of cool stuff, which is more than I guess alot of people can say, so I guess in the end maybe I'm just a spoiled bitch? Whatever. But I just want more, we need change and to move our life into the next and better metaphorical level. I won't fucking settle with this, I refuse, we will not settle, we will have the best. I don't want to simply float in the river of life, I want to get a fucking speedboat and see what this motherfucker can do. Does that sound selfish or snobby? I don't think so, but if you do you can get fucked, because that's what I want for me and for us.

So I write these broken words like bloody knuckles
Cut open and bleeding for the world to see
Not caring what the world thinks anymore
I just wanna be myself now, fuck the rest
I won't let you in, I need to breathe in this death to feel alive
Never hold me back, I won't let you hold me back
Anymore

-M3rcuryMorbid